A “picopause” is a little loving nudge towards simplicity and serenity.

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Oscar Trimboli, an expert in listening in the workplace, proposes that there are four “villains of listening:

The Dramatic Listener
You love creating drama and exploring every element of the discussion. Rather than helping the speaker progress, you get stuck in the detail and dissecting the historical events and patterns that have led you to the discussion. You are so engrossed and engaged in the story that you become completely preoccupied in the theatre of the drama.

The Interrupting Listener
You’re so focused on finding a solution to the problem that you finish the speaker’s sentences for them. You feel they are moving too slowly in describing the issue, so you listen with the intent of solving, rather than their intent of being curious. You interrupt and interject, creating all kinds of confusion. You are busy solving problems the speaker hasn’t yet verbalised.

The Lost Listener
You’re in your own mind rather than in the conversation. You are so absorbed with your self-talk you don’t create enough space for the dialogue to land in your mind, you are so busy thinking about your last thought or your next thought that you can’t focus on the discussion. You are lost before you even turn up.

The Shrewd Listener
You’re too busy trying to solve the issue before listening to the explanation. You might be shrewd enough to wait patiently and not interrupt the speaker, but you are anticipating the future, trying to solve the problem before you’ve heard it or understood it all. You have forgotten to be present and to listen completely.

~ Oscar Trimboli

Which one are you? And does it depend on the context?

*I am definitely an “interrupter”. If you have spoken to me in real life, I have probably interrupted you, spoken over you, or finished your sentences. How annoying! I have gotten a bit better at this now that I am aware of it, but I still notice myself talking when I should be silent. If you catch me doing it, please feel free to call me out on it!