Some people do not care about food. They like food and they enjoy eating it, but they don’t think about it all the time. And they don’t have “food thoughts” that they can’t ignore. They don’t worry or fuss very much about what they are going to eat next. They can eat now or later and it doesn’t overly faze them. They can choose what they want to eat, then eat it and move on. They can choose not to eat the cookies, chips, or chocolates someone brings into the staff room. They can choose not to eat ALL of something.
This is one thing I have learned over the past five years of trying to understand my food addiction. I used to think that everyone thought the same way I did about food. I was very surprised to learn that my way of thinking about food was disordered and that was what was causing me to constantly battle with my weight. It was not a lack of willpower, or a weak moral character. (I felt that people were judging me as being fundamentally flawed when they saw my 200+ pound body.) It was that I was addicted to food and I was not able to change my habits or thoughts due to the very powerful and cunning forces of addiction.
One very tricky characteristic of addiction is denial. A person who is addicted doesn’t think they are addicted. They think they are normal. “If you had my problems, you would drink too” is a common refrain of alcoholics, but the same refrain goes through the heads of addicts of all kinds. And you will hear addicts say, “That person is an addict. They are way worse than me. I’m fine”. Addicts do not realize that they are using substances or behaviours to try to control their emotions. They don’t realize that the way their brain works is not the same as the way other brains work. Addicts do not want to be addicts, so while pretty much everyone around them can see the truth, addicts will usually deny they have a problem with their chosen substance or behaviour. This is not obstinance. It is just a feature of this disorder. The cannot see it for themselves even though it is usually obvious to others.
This makes it hard, and sometimes even impossible, for addicts to get the treatment they need. Unless an addict truly believes that they need help, they will not seek it, and any attempt to help the addict will ultimately fail. If the addict doesn’t fundamentally believe they need help, they are not willing to accept any help, and will likely get very upset at the suggestion that they need any help.
So what can we do when someone around us has an addiction? Honestly, not much, until or unless the person seeks help on their own. In the meantime, we can learn as much as possible about addiction, and try to understand the powerful forces at work inside an addict’s brain, in order to be a warm, welcoming, listening ear when someone does finally start opening up about their feelings about their substance or behaviour. Then, we can find someone who is in recovery from addiction to try to speak to the addict so they can get the help that they are finally ready to accept.
I am a food addict. I am currently in recovery from food addiction. I weighed 223 pounds due to my inability to recognize my weight as a sign of addiction. I now weigh around 128 pounds and have stayed around this weight for several years now. This is not because I suddenly developed willpower. It’s because I was able to correctly diagnose myself as an addict and seek treatment (by googling something like “treatment for food addiction” and looking for a FREE option). Only then was I able to admit that everything I had tried in the past did not work and develop the willingness to learn how to live in the solution rather than perpetuate the problem.
I have now been in recovery from food addiction for five years. I am not cured. I am still addicted to food, and I always will be. But with help and continual guidance, I can live a life that is not defined by, and restricted by, my “disease” of addiction.
If you want to learn more about food addiction, please see the following website.
If you want to know which specific program I have been following for the past five years, please contact me and I will let you know.
I don’t want it to seem like I am advertising or promoting any specific kind of intervention. I am not. I just want to raise awareness of the fact that it is possible to be addicted to food, and I want to decrease the stigma of talking about addiction and identifying oneself as an addict.
No one wants to be an addict. Some of us are anyway.
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