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  • Drug of Choice

    An invitation to get curious about addiction

    If I were an alcoholic, today would be the fourth anniversary of my sobriety. I am not addicted to alcohol, though. I never liked the taste of it, and I always got terrible hangovers, so alcohol was never my drug of choice. Food was. I started my journey towards recovery from food addiction in August 2021 and have been able to maintain my โ€œsobrietyโ€ from food since October 2021.

    On these anniversaries, I like to talk openly about my struggle with food addiction just in case it resonates with anyone else who might be struggling with any kind of addiction.

    Iโ€™ve done this a few times now, so if you have known me for a while, you may be tired of hearing me talk about addiction. Fair enough.

    But maybe there is something about this topic that makes you want to read more about it, almost in spite of yourself…

    If youโ€™re wondering whether something in your life has crossed the line into addiction, you can ask yourself some pretty basic questions:

    • Do I need it to feel okay, or to change how I feel?
    • Have I tried to stop and couldnโ€™t?
    • Does it take up more space, time, thought, or emotion than I want it to?
    • Do I find myself repeating a behavior even when I donโ€™t want to?
    • Do I feel anxious, ashamed, or defensive when I think about my relationship with it?

    I have a suggestion for a possible way forward: Get curious about this topic, and try not to stamp out your thoughts before you have given yourself time to actually think. Find quizzes and articles online to help you learn more about addiction in general, and addiction to certain substances and behaviours in particular, if you think you might already be able to name your โ€œdrug of choiceโ€.

    There is help out there for all addictions, for all addicts. But you canโ€™t get help if you donโ€™t think you need it.


  • To Do or Not to Do

    I currently have 66 items on my to do list. Nine of them are personal, and the rest are work-related. I need to have a system for keeping my to do list in check, otherwise I will lose my mind. I have tried many different solutions in the past, and I am always on the lookout for new ones.

    Here is what I am doing now:

    I have a dedicated email account for my to dos. I set up a free Gmail for this purpose. I don’t give out the address to anyone so there is nothing in that account except for emails from me to me.

    When a new task comes up in my life, I send an email to my TO DO account with the subject being the thing I have to do, such as “Get shoes repaired”. When the email arrives in the TO DO account, I apply a coloured label to it so I can see at glance whether it is personal, work-related, or other.

    When I complete the task, I mark it read, add a label called “done”, and archive it.

    I have the following labels:

    /
    don’t do
    done
    pending

    *
    personal
    work
    [two other labels related to groups that I volunteer with]

    +
    maybe read
    maybe think about
    maybe watch

    The symbols (/, *, +) are used to separate out these three sections. So the label “/” has three sublabels: donโ€™t do, done, pending).

    The don’t do label is important because sometimes you think you need to do something, but you realize later that you don’t. I don’t like to delete those things because I might change my mind again, so I just label them “don’t do”, which is kind of satisfying.

    You know how you get a million things sent to you, like newsletters and recordings of webinars that you missed, and there is never enough time to process them? The + section (maybe read, maybe think about, maybe watch) is where these get forwarded. Note that I do not use my TO DO email account to sign up for any newsletters or anything else. It is important to keep this email account PRISTINE and fully under my own control. But, if I receive something that I think is interesting or important and I want to remind myself to maybe read it, watch it, or think about it later, I forward it to the TO DO email account. The โ€œmaybeโ€ part affords me the grace to decide whether or not to engage with it so I donโ€™t think of it as a separate thing that I am obligated to do. I have enough obligations already.

    This + section also lets me archive things in my other inboxes so they donโ€™t hang around and cause me unneeded stress.

    I have a tendency to over-think and over-complicate things, so one big advantage of using this TO DO email system is that there are limited features, so it helps me keep it simple. There are other systems that offer a lot more flexibility, but that flexibility is dangerous for someone like me. I need clear boundaries so I don’t waste my own time.

    This method captures my to-dos and doesn’t let me endlessly try to optimize the order they are in, or sort them into different categories, or make them into Eisenhower matrices. There are no other features to distract myself from what I need to focus on when I see this list, which is to answer the question: What is the next right thing to do right now?


  • scdotcom Coaching Business Closed

    I would like to thank all of you who played a part in the beautiful experiment of my coaching business. I have decided to close down the business as I found that both the coaching and the โ€œbusinessโ€ side of the company took up a lot of my free time. In total, I had 128 thinking sessions with 56 thinkers over 101 hours in total, and I am very proud of this work. I will, of course, continue to learn about (and think about, and probably write about) coaching and listening as these are both extremely relevant domains for leaders.

    I may decide to offer coaching again in the future, perhaps when I retire.

    Thank you, again, for your support!

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